Things unsaid

You’re entitled to your own opinion and I can’t take that from you…
Great point, but your opinion will now be the wall between us. Sure, I won’t attempt to take it from you. I know better than that. Keep it. I respect that you had your feelings just like every other person does and they may have all come out in a jealous rage, but please respect that I can not and will not stand for hateful things that were said before you even had the chance to know the people you talked so boldly about. If anything it was a demonstration of character to me and I was not pleased with what I saw. Maybe you don’t think that anymore. Maybe you don’t feel those things anymore, but it doesn’t change the fact that they were still said out of anger. And what gets me, is that you refuse to take them down. You deliberately said you wound’t remove them. Your excuse about not “ripping out the pages of your journal” doesn’t say you’re sorry to me. Why would you want to keep record of the once very hurtful things you thought of someone you NOW befriended? If your opinion has changed then why hold onto memories of the bitterness instead of making room for the better things you have in them now? All of that should be forgotten. All of it should be thrown to the fire because they don’t deserve your recollection of such terrible past thoughts. Especially when they’ve been nothing but kind to you. 

You should know that you hurt Lynnea the most. She cried because of what you said. You may not be aware but being older than Tristen was something she always felt insecure about. It was something we’d always talk about because what people think of her is something she values highly and she didn’t want to feel dirty and disgusting for liking someone younger than her. Now she’s questioning herself… The worst part was she did nothing but have open arms for you. Hillaree had her speculations about you but Lynnea said to give you a chance and to try and befriend you. She’s the only reason why you got so close to them and their group of friends. So I hope you realize that you didn’t just hurt me, but you hurt a potential sister to you.

Each of them, yes, Hillaree, Tristen, and Lynnea will  have their own method of expressing to you where they are in their relationship with you, but I can tell you this. Hillaree and Tristen aren’t ones who offer forgiveness easily once wronged. Lynnea, might, but you’d have to earn trust back. As for myself… I don’t want to say… I don’t want to walk away so quickly from what we had.. but to know the whole time those sweet conversations were masking such a terribly jealous heart doesn’t make me feel confident in trusting you. 

I need to do this.

You’ll probably hate me for it

But I’m walking away from this whole thing

I’m going to unfollow you because it’s hard for me to see you

Don’t try and contact me.

Don’t try and change my mind.

I can’t respectfully be friends with someone who hurts the people closest to me.

That would be an even worse betrayal.

So, Goodbye Brooke. It was nice while the illusion lasted. But the truth had to come out somehow. I’m just sorry it had to be like this.